Red White and Bull

I was mopping my kitchen floor with some Neutered Public Radio (NPR) on in the background and, suddenly, a sports story broke out.

What had broke was supposedly Lindsey Vonn's leg. In an impromptu afternoon press conference in Park City, the bombshell dropped the bombshell that she has a "severe injury" that will impact her races at the Winter Olympics in Vancouver, which begins tomorrow.

It's so bad that Lindsey stated she had to wrap cheese over her bruised leg. I sure hope it's slices of American cheese made by Kraft, who's headquartered in the Winter Olympic hotbed of Illinois. Yes, the Land o' Lakes and Lincoln. That's where speedskating Chicagoan Shani Davis, figure skater Evan Lysacek of suburban Naperville, and the toasts of Champaign Katherine Reutter and Jonathan Kuck - same hometown as Bonnie Blair (and Roger Ebert!) - are expected to medal on the ice.


I sliced and diced my way to Mrs. Vonn's Facebook page, and boy, she loves her Red Bull. It's her official sponsor, and seemingly half her photos has her showcasing her gear with the Austrian energy drink giant. On her official Twitter page, her bio reads: world cup ski racer, big tennis fan and loves RedBull."  The former Ms. Lidlow made a whopping $3million from endorsements alone in 2009 -- a pretty hefty sum in a non-Olympic year. Red Bull also happens to be the wind beneath the aerials of hash-piper Shaun White.

So I'm calling bullshoot. It's a clever marketing move by Team Vonn (TV), though. The storylines are in packaged nicely. If she medals, then it's a story of overcoming the odds. If she doesn't, then it's okay, nice effort. Either way, we're glued to the tube.

TV ratings should do well. The X-gamification of the games continues, with thrills and spills on the frozen obstacle courses. Yes, like an adult version of Double Dare. Although this being Canada there are some things You Can't Do That on Television.

What you can't say on American TV is that not all Americans are rah-rah, going for the gold. Some are in it to do their best, but not take it so damn seriously. So in way, the X-Games needed a dash of professionalism while the Olympics needed an infusion of chill stoke-iness.  Kind of like Bode Miller, EH?

Miller tore up the slope at his first Olympics in 2002 in Salt Lake City, the place where Orrin Hatch represents. This time around, Sen. Hatch doesn't want AmBush marketers coming to egg us on.  Another watchdog barking at the evil marketing apparati is AdBusters, whose Vancouver headquarters make cents.

Money talks and Red Bull walks. Well, it limps. For now anyway.